An Interview with Jesus


And Jesus spoke:

There’s more to me than this white robe.

My skin is dark beneath this dirty gown.


You are a white, blue eyed Jew,

albino for sure.

Jesus: Stop hating, start loving.

I love everyone, even Marco Rubio.

Followers: We want Marco the thirsty one.

He loves the poor more than you.

Jesus: I shall throw the likes of such from my temple.

He despises his own.

Followers: Radical baby, left wing hippy.

We’re gonna crucify you.

Jesus: Kill me and you too will drown

in the dark river of Styx.

Followers: You’re not the superstar named Jesus.

Give us this day our daily bread.

Jesus:  Pay your union dues

and manna will fall from heaven.

Followers:  Make us wine

and show us a sign.

Jesus fell silent and his followers left him in the desert.  For forty days and forty nights he smoked hashish and discovered he did not exist.