And Jesus spoke:
There’s more to me than this white robe.
My skin is dark beneath this dirty gown.
You are a white, blue eyed Jew,
albino for sure.
Jesus: Stop hating, start loving.
I love everyone, even Marco Rubio.
Followers: We want Marco the thirsty one.
He loves the poor more than you.
Jesus: I shall throw the likes of such from my temple.
He despises his own.
Followers: Radical baby, left wing hippy.
We’re gonna crucify you.
Jesus: Kill me and you too will drown
in the dark river of Styx.
Followers: You’re not the superstar named Jesus.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Jesus: Pay your union dues
and manna will fall from heaven.
Followers: Make us wine
and show us a sign.
Jesus fell silent and his followers left him in the desert. For forty days and forty nights he smoked hashish and discovered he did not exist.